Keir Starmer’s on the pitch, he thinks it’s all over … Well, it will be soon | John Crace

Just before being kicked out of No 10, the PM is dreaming of lifting the World Cup for a nation – and political immortality

The dream lives on. With 15 minutes left against the Democratic Republic of Congo in Atlanta, England were in danger of going out of the World Cup. The defeat would have been one of the more humiliating exits from an international tournament the team had experienced. But with heads going down and nerves shattered, up stepped Harry Kane with a couple of goals. The second, sublime. Captain Fantastic. Thank goodness Spurs had the foresight to send him out on loan to Bayern Munich to polish his finishing skills.

The dream in question, of course, is Keir Starmer’s. For months now, he might have spent the first few minutes of every day staring at his wall chart, plotting England’s journey so that he becomes only the second prime minister after Harold Wilson to lead his country through World Cup glory, and maintain the record of the men’s team only winning a major international tournament under a Labour government. For that alone, Keir would go down in history as one of the immortals. Guaranteed the eternal thanks of a grateful nation. A state funeral in the bag. This would be his most lasting legacy.

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